The Case of the Giant Mushrooms – And Other Bizarre Garden Visitors
Reader warning: This post contains photos of snakes. If this is going to make you anxious or upset, please just skip this post and think pleasant thoughts. I will be writing about beautiful flowers again next week.
It was about this time last year when I witnessed the incredible appearance of a large, mature, snapping turtle who had decided to make a nest and lay her eggs in my back bed. I dutifully reported on this bizarre state of affairs in my February 16th post, “It Will Grow Back,” complete with the photographic evidence that along with deer, rabbits, and other pests, gardeners apparently must be on the lookout for mama turtles who can bite your fingers off if you’re not careful.
I have found that my garden has the capacity to surprise me with unexpected, if not frightening, goings on, and this year is no exception. Let me tell you about the case of the giant man-eating mushrooms in my sun bed. You should know I am no stranger to large mushrooms, having grown blue oyster mushrooms from scratch as a gift from a Rotarian buddy who felt my gardening chops would not be fully tested until I grew huge mushrooms from a kit. I dutifully put the box holding the mushroom kit on my kitchen table and sprayed the mycelium with water daily. The result was monster mushrooms that eventually turned into a delicious side to a steak salad.
Having established my mushroom bonafides, imagine my shock and horror when on morning patrol a few weeks ago, I happened upon man-eating mushrooms in my sun bed. OK, they may not be man-eaters, but they certainly seem large enough to eat Shasta daisies, their neighbors in the bed. After carefully leaving the garden (without turning my back on the mushrooms,) I rushed to Google to research the danger involved with these giants. It turns out there is no danger at all. Mushrooms grow in moist, nutrient-rich soil and cool temperatures, and we’ve had unusually wet weather this month. The mushrooms grow from a fungal network below ground and pose no threat to humans, or plants, unless you are stupid enough to eat them without knowing if they are edible. I can assure you I won’t be eating them. So, I find myself, once again, bowing to the naturalists who say just leave the mushrooms alone in the garden because they are good for the soil. On the other hand, they are ugly as hell, and I don’t want to look at them for the rest of the summer, so I guess they have to go.
Imagine you are on Morning Patrol, enjoying a note of warmth in the air as you inspect your beds during a warm spell in mid-May, and you spend a few minutes looking at all the flowers blooming on the hydrangea under the deck where you do the grilling. Next stop on the patrol is to admire the giant elegans hosta living under the deck, next to the swing. But as you turn the corner to see if the deer have eaten the hosta, you see this:
Linda and I have known for some time that we are sharing our property with at least one large black snake. (The color of the snake is black, but, confusingly, the name of the snake is black snake.) It has apparently made its home in the foundation of our house. We’ve seen it sunning itself outside of our garage doors on the driveway, and I unexpectedly found it curled up near the garage door sensor, keeping the garage door from closing. We have had snake disposal experts come to the house periodically to rid us of the black snake, but obviously to no avail. For the most part the snake and I leave each other alone, which is fine by me. However, it appears that our black snake is getting bolder in establishing its territory, and unfortunately for me, it seems to enjoy the back of the house as much as I do.
One day I was gazing out toward the garden from the back deck, admiring how my Solomon's seal plants are filling in under the dogwood tree near the waterfall bed. Imagine my surprise when I saw this:
As I’m apt to do, the recent appearances by our black snake sent me to do some research on the internet. You guessed it: Black snakes are not harmful or aggressive to people, unless you mess with them. They eat rodents and other small animals you don’t necessarily want to have around the house. In short, the best thing to do with black snakes, according to black snake experts, is to cherish your luck in having them. I’m thinking to myself, maybe I can deal with this creepy roommate and brag to other gardeners how I’m enjoying our black snake and expertly and maturely handling its surprise appearances. But then, one evening I’m getting ready to grill out for dinner, and with a flourish, I whip off the cover to my grill only to find….
There was nothing girlish about the scream I let out when I unexpectedly saw this snake. Linda came running to the door thinking I was having some kind of a health crisis, but then joined me in being absolutely creeped-out by the snake. Eventually I used a broom to sweep the snake off the deck and on to the patio below, where it slithered off as if nothing had happened. (It’s got to be a 15-foot drop from the deck to the patio, but our black snake was apparently unfazed by the fall.)
I mention this about our black snake because I’ve written in the past about the types of critters I don’t like encountering in the garden. At the top of the list were spiders and spider webs, which are totally disgusting, followed by bees, gnats, and other flying annoyances. I will be adding snakes to the list shortly. Something tells me we have a new number one pest. Our black snake is welcome to hang around outside of the house, but I would prefer not to run into one when I’m out in the garden.
Next week I want to share my bed-by-bed analysis of which plants bloom in each season. The objective, of course, is to have something flowering all year long. It should be an interesting discussion.
If you have friends and acquaintances that might like snake photos, feel free to share this post with them by clicking on the share buttons throughout the post. If you want to check out previous content on The Painful Education of a Type A Gardener, just click on the small images of me at the top of the post and it will take you to the archives. You’ll find lots of good stuff to read there.
Of all the surprising and dramatic images in this post, my favorite is the ruler from the Merry Go Round store that hasn’t existed in over 30 years. Is that where you used to buy your fine Italian suits? Too funny. Maybe it’s time for a new ruler. 😆