The 2023 Golden Garden Awards
Welcome to an extraordinary evening where we honor the plants that have given us so much joy this season. Sit back and enjoy the program.
Ladies and Gentlemen, before we start this evening, we have a few housekeeping issues to address.
First, I’ve been informed by the ushers that we have some invasive plants sitting up front in the orchestra seats when their seats are actually in the balcony. Please be considerate of those plants who paid for the privilege and move back to the balcony immediately. Yes, I see you, winged burning bush, and you, winter creeper. Please go back to your ticketed seats or we will have to call security.
Second, I want to remind you that water, fertilizer, lime, and other plant foods are not allowed in the theater. You are welcome to purchase them in the lobby. The proceeds go to the perennial memorial foundation, honoring the memory of recently departed plants around the Solow family garden. There are lots of them, so please eat and drink to your heart's content. We thank you for your generosity.
And now, without further ado, let’s get on with the show. (Drumroll, house lights dim)
Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome. Welcome to the second annual Golden Garden Awards. My name is Ken Solow and I will be your Master of Ceremonies for the evening. Tonight, we are going to recognize those plants that have stunned the judge and the voter and earned their way to a Golden Garden Award. Since I am both the judge and the voter, I can be confident that I’m very excited about the results and can’t wait to reveal our winners this evening. It’s time to get down to business and give these plants the recognition they deserve.
Our first award this evening is for Best Surviving Plant. We had a difficult time with this award last year since our nominees kept dying throughout the season. This year, we are proud to announce not one, but two, finalists for this highly anticipated award. The nominees are autumn joy sedum, purchased at the nursery this summer, which promptly became the snack of choice for birds hanging out at the birdfeeder. The second nominee is the plumbago in the back bed. These plants were eaten by deer early in the season and came back strong, only to be dug up by a snapping turtle who decided to lay her eggs in the flower bed, once again nearly destroying the plants. And the winner is...plumbago, by the slim margin of one (and the only) vote. Congratulations to the plumbago.
Our next award is for Best New Plant. To qualify for this award, the plant had to be purchased at a nursery during the calendar year 2023 and must still be alive. Notably, we didn’t have the disclaimer about being alive last year. This year we felt that adding the disclaimer was both appropriate and necessary. We have two nominees for this award. The first nominee is epimedium (epimedium’s agent insists that we call the plant barrenwort), which was purchased in late August and planted in the bed beside the water feature. This spot has been a dead zone for new plants, killing several lady’s mantle specimens and causing the forced relocation of three Rozanne geraniums to the sunnier side of the bed, where they subsequently died. So far, the epimedium has weathered the storm and even seems to be showing signs of sending up new growth in this short period of time.
Our second nominee is the hardy begonia purchased as a desperate replacement for three begonia plants that died last year, and their replacement, replacement plant, Jacob’s ladder, which also died last year. And the winner is…the hardy begonia, which appears to be thriving in the same spot where the previous begonias met their inglorious end. We will see if these two plants survive the winter, but for now, they look very healthy. Congratulations to hardy begonia.
Our next award is the Comeback of the Year Award (sometimes called the “I thought you were dead” award), given to the plant that appeared to die during 2022-23, only to reappear this year alive and well. The first nominee is Japanese painted fern. Japanese painted fern disappeared from the steps garden under the crepe myrtle tree last season, apparently a victim of lack of water, as well as the lawnmower crew stepping on them while blowing leaves out of the bed. This year, those persistent little ferns showed their fronds to the world again and were eventually transplanted to the bed below the dogwood tree at the bottom of the steps. The awards committee confirmed all nine painted ferns were alive and well as of this morning, so let’s give them a hand for living to be an award nominee this year. Wait a minute. Hold on. I’m getting an update from the awards staff. It appears there are now seven Japanese painted ferns alive under the dogwood tree. What? Yes, wonderful. The judge has confirmed that seven living painted ferns still qualify for this award.
Our second nominee is the white astilbe on the right side of the woodland garden. These plants looked like they died after being transplanted from their longtime location next to the (now demolished) gazebo. However, in the past three weeks all four plants have reappeared with new growth in the form of tiny baby leaves, shocking this judge. The Comeback of the Year Award goes to... Japanese painted fern. We are looking forward to great things next year from you, and your nine, er, seven brethren, who now reside under the dogwood tree. It should make for a great display next summer. Congratulations Japanese painted fern.
And now for what is always the most anticipated award of the evening, the Plant of the Year award, given to the plant that was so stunningly beautiful that it took this judge's breath away in 2023. There are two well-deserved nominees for this award. First is the brunnera, otherwise known as Jack Frost forget me not, in the ostrich fern bed. This brunnera plant is a survivor itself, one of three Jack Frost brunnera planted as part of the 2022 landscape design. While two of the brunnera died, this plant unexpectedly came back this year to put on a stunning display this spring.
Our second nomination goes to the five Hot Lips turtlehead plants in the bed next to the waterfall. When they bloomed in late summer, the buds exploded in a spectacular display of pink flowers that set new box-office records this year. Some are saying that Hot Lips turtlehead saved the garden’s reputation after many of the disasters it experienced throughout this year and last. And the award goes to…Hot Lips turtlehead. (Roaring crowd noise.) Please cultivars, don’t rush the stage. Hot Lips turtlehead will be available for autographs after the show. And, if you have your press credentials, you can meet them personally at the news conference in the Orchid room on the second floor.
And that ends our presentation this evening. Before you leave, we ask that you check the floor around your seats for any stray rhizomes or roots you may have left behind. If you would pick them up and take them with you to the compost bins in the lobby, it would be greatly appreciated. You have no idea what a mess they leave in the auditorium about four weeks from now. After last year’s debacle, there will be no close-up flash photography allowed near the shade plants while you are in the Orchid room. We had several instances of shade plants getting ill from too much light last year, so please be considerate.
Tickets are now available at a discount for next year’s 2024 Golden Garden Awards. We apologize for any inconvenience that Ticketmaster’s failure to handle the volume of ticket sales for this year’s event may have caused. Remember, the nomination process is open to any plant that feels that it is worthy. The details for nomination criteria and the necessary forms are available online at our website, www.goldengarden/awards.org. Please remember to include any special cultivars you feel are qualified but be sure to meet the deadline so that the judge can properly evaluate all competitors for next year.
I hope you all had as good a time as I did this evening. I’ll see you all next year. Thank you, and good night.
Well…you can see why tickets to this event are so coveted. Now that the excitement is over for this year’s awards, I had promised you a tour of the garden. My next post will introduce you to Morning Patrol, where we enjoy the early morning air and inspect the many beds in the garden. I’m looking forward to being your host.